Today, Bosley and I had the "pleasure" of experiencing cubicle life. The occasion was "Bring Your Child To Work Day". For the safety of Bosley's dignity, we shall not mention the crayons at the breakfast extravaganza. Our first workshop was communications in which a woman who shall not be named droned on about the importance of reading, writing, and arts and crafts. As we sat, tortured beyond belief, waiting for the moment in which the torment would come to a halt. Alas, this took 45 minutes... The workshop was meant to teach communication skills, but in the words of Bosley, "I lost more knowledge than I gained."
Our next workshop was The Mini Media Training, which required participants to get in front of a camera, assume the part of a celebrity, and finally make a fool out of themselves. Fun, no? Each person could claim a product, but the girl who caught our eye, let's call her "Obnoxious Tween" took five lipglosses and a deluxe eyeshadow palette, with no regards for the feelings of humanity. We could tell, from the moment we sat down that this "girl" was trouble. A boy, shall we say, with a british accent opened his noise hole and after he had uttered a few words, this smelly girl leaned accross the table, and said "You know, I have a friend who sounds JUST LIKE YOU", her words dripping with condecendence. We couldn't stand to stay a full 45 minutes, so needless to say, we got up and left.
On our way back to the home cubicle, we were locked outside of the elevators, needing a pass key to navigate the cubicle farm. Unfortunately, we had not yet obtained said pass key, so were left with no choice but to wait for mindless passerbys to grant us entrance. It was not long before we ended up wondering the slums of the cubicles aimlessly. We asked a cubicle zombie were to find cubicle #645C, he was of no use, merely telling us to switch floors. Again, we were trapped behind the glass doors of shame. As the doors were about to close on our opportunity of entrance, Bosley sprinted to the door screaming and scared a family or two. Wandering aimlessly, we eventually found ourselves at the cubicle slums. Passing by mounds of paperwork and decrepit water-fountains, we knew we were done for. Luckily, within minutes, we saw our mentor across the hallway who led us back to the safety of the higher- end cubicles. Blame us if you will, but why don't YOU try navigating through a maze of homogenous small cubes?
Through our experience in the workspace, we had made many a friend, and eventually a possy. This possy consisted of Mentor's cubicle neighbor, who we shall refer to as "Kick-Ass Coworker" and A\as we headed to lunch, great drama unfolded, to our delight. A couple of high society execs pushed pass us at the vicinity of the elevators. As she entered the elevator, she exclaimed, "Oh, I thought you were a herd of buffalo!" Oh no she di-int! As we entered the elevator as well, she then said, "Oh! I didn't know you were getting in the elevator." The comment had not sunk in at first, but over time, the true meaning of her words unraveled. The drama was present and flaming. After registering the snark comments made, we laughed as we discussed the starategy in which we would put her in her place.
As you can see, our sojourn to the land of rouge cubicles, had adverse affects on our mental health and well being. Needless to say, we'll be coming back next year. :)
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